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Funny Quotes Mom will Love

BY JEN AMBROSE

 

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Funny Quotes Mom Will Totally Relate To


Hey there, fellow mamas! As moms, we know that laughter is our secret weapon to surviving the chaos. So, join me on this hilarious journey as we explore some funny mom quotes that perfectly capture the rollercoaster ride that is raising tiny humans.


Just letting you know that this post could have some affiliate links in it. These links may result in a small monetary commission for me, if you decide to make a purchase, after clicking on them. Thanks for your support of Insider Mama!


Sleep Deprivation and Coffee Obsession


"Sleep is like the unicorn – it is rumored to exist but I doubt I will see any." - Unknown


We all know that a good night's sleep becomes a distant memory the moment we become moms. The days of uninterrupted sleep are replaced with late-night feedings, diaper changes, and soothing cries. Coffee becomes our savior, the magical elixir that keeps us going when all else fails. As we stumble through the day in a sleep-deprived haze, let's find solace in the hilarious truth of these words.


 

The Never-Ending Mess


"Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life. In my case, it's a new vacuum cleaner." - Unknown



vacuum cleaner head


Ah, the constant battle against the mess! From toys strewn across the living room to crumbs embedded in every nook and cranny, it sometimes feels like we're living in a perpetual hurricane of chaos. We clean, they mess. We tidy, they destroy. But hey, at least we can appreciate the humor in realizing that our vacuum cleaner has become our most prized possession.


 

Mealtime Madness


"Dinner is where the magic happens. By 'magic,' I mean a combination of tears, tantrums, and a few thrown peas." - Unknown



young girl holding two brown eggs up to eyes

Mealtime with kids can be quite the adventure. From picky eaters to food-flinging fiascos, we navigate through a culinary battlefield with the finesse of a Michelin-star chef. We dream of peaceful family dinners where everyone eats their veggies and exchanges witty banter. In reality, though, we often find ourselves in a chaotic circus of flying food and spilled drinks. Oh, the joys of parenting!


 

The Art of Negotiation


"Parenting is just one negotiation after another. It's like being a lawyer, but you don't get paid and you're negotiating with terrorists." - Unknown


If there's one skill moms have mastered, it's negotiation. From convincing our little ones to put on pants to persuading them to eat their greens, we've become experts in the art of bargaining. Forget about courtroom dramas – parenting is the real battleground for legal minds. Though we may not always come out victorious, we can't help but chuckle at the absurdity of our daily negotiations.


 

Mommy Brain Moments


"Mom brain is like a browser with 37 tabs open. All. The. Time." - Unknown


Oh, the dreaded "mommy brain." We've all experienced those moments of forgetfulness and absentmindedness that come with the territory of motherhood. Whether it's forgetting our own names or trying to remember where we left our car keys (spoiler alert: they're probably in the fridge), mom brain is real, and it's here to stay. Let's laugh together at our scatterbrained moments and embrace the chaos!


 

The Trials of Potty Training


"Potty training is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you're gonna get, but you're pretty sure there will be a mess." - Unknown


Ah, potty training – the great adventure that leaves us knee-deep in bodily fluids and endless trips to the bathroom. We stock up on treats, sticker charts, and an array of colorful underwear, only to find ourselves knee-deep in accidents and meltdowns. But fear not, fellow moms, for this too shall pass.


Looking for a touch of humor in your kids' bathroom? This funny vinyl saying lettering, "If You Pee on The Seat, I Will Scrub it with Your Toothbrush, Love Mom," adds a playful and lighthearted vibe while reminding little ones of bathroom etiquette.


 

"I love cleaning up messes I didn't make. So, I became a mom." - Unknown


"Having kids is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up." - Ray Romano



quote - I childproofed my house, but the still get in!


"Raising kids is like a walk in the park -- Jurassic Park, that is." - Unknown


"Parenthood is just a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time." - Unknown


"I'm not a regular mom; I'm a cool mom... Just kidding, I'm not cool. I'm a mom." - Unknown


"I love when my kids tell me they're bored. As if the lady standing in front of a sink full of dirty dishes is where you get ideas about how to have a good time." - Unknown


"I used to have a clean house, then I had kids. Now I have a house full of love and a bunch of stuff I can't find." - Unknown


Laughter is the best way to navigate the craziness of motherhood. So, embrace the humor, find joy in the chaos, and keep those funny mom quotes close at hand for a much-needed dose of laughter!


 

"I'm not just a regular mom; I'm a master of finding lost socks and missing toys." - Unknown


"Being a mom means you can do 100 things at once, with one hand, while holding a crying baby, and still have the energy to ask, 'What's for dinner?'" - Unknown


"I've reached the point in my motherhood journey where my purse is basically a portable grocery store." - Unknown


"I don't need an alarm clock; I have kids who think sleeping in is a form of rebellion." - Unknown



red wine being poured from bottle into a clear wine glass

"Motherhood: Powered by love, fueled by coffee, sustained by wine." - Unknown


"I used to have a social life. Now I have kids." - Unknown


"I don't always shout, but when I do, it's because my kids are ignoring me for the twentieth time." - Unknown


"I'm not yelling; I'm just projecting my voice so my kids can hear me over the chaos." - Unknown


"The most effective alarm clock for moms is the sound of silence." - Unknown


"I'm like a superhero. But instead of a cape, I have messy hair and a permanent look of exhaustion." - Unknown



woman lying under covers with a messy bun


These quotes are meant to bring a smile to your face and remind you that you're not alone in the hilarious journey of motherhood. Embrace the chaos, find humor in the everyday moments, and keep laughing along the way!


 

"I thought I had control over my life. Then I had kids, and now I just laugh." - Unknown


"Motherhood: The only place where going to the bathroom alone feels like a luxury vacation." - Unknown


"Having a two-year-old is like having a blender, but you don't have a lid." - Jerry Seinfeld


"Parenting tip: If you're going to have a meltdown, make sure your kids are in bed, and you have a pint of ice cream nearby." - Unknown


"I've learned that the best way to avoid mommy guilt is to have a selective memory." - Unknown


"Being a mom means you're constantly torn between 'I need to get away' and 'I miss my kids.'" - Unknown


"Motherhood is like a game show. You never know what you're going to get, but you keep playing for the chance to win big." - Unknown


"I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure." - Unknown


"The best way to get your kids to clean up is to start vacuuming." - Unknown


"Motherhood: The only job where you get paid with slobbery kisses and macaroni necklaces." - Unknown


"I don't want to sleep like a baby; I want to sleep like my husband." - Unknown


black and white photo of man sleeping on couch

"I used to have hobbies. Now I have kids." - Unknown


"I'm pretty sure my kids' favorite word is 'mom,' closely followed by 'snack.'" - Unknown


"Life with kids is like a roller coaster ride. Strap in, hold on tight, and scream if you want to get off!" - Unknown


"I've perfected the art of doing the laundry. It's called 'letting it pile up until I run out of underwear.'" - Unknown


"The secret to a happy home is a good sense of humor and a stash of chocolate hidden in the pantry." - Unknown


"My kids can turn a clean room into a disaster zone faster than you can say 'naptime.'" - Unknown


"I'm not a regular mom; I'm a cool mom. But let's be honest, 'cool' is just a state of mind." - Unknown


"My kids think I'm a superhero. Little do they know, I'm just really good at hiding the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing." - Unknown


"Motherhood: When your favorite shoes are covered in spit-up, and you still rock them with pride." - Unknown


Laughter is a powerful tool in navigating the ups and downs of motherhood. These funny mom quotes serve as a reminder that you're not alone in the craziness and that it's okay to find humor in the chaos. Enjoy the journey and keep those smiles coming!


 

"Motherhood is like a marathon, except you're running on no sleep, the finish line keeps moving, and someone is always throwing Cheerios at you." - Unknown


"I thought I was a patient person until I had kids. Now I count to three like a maniac." - Unknown


"I have a Ph.D. in multitasking. It stands for 'Piled high and Deep' in laundry." - Unknown


laundry basket with clothes in it

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" - Milton Berle


"Raising kids is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. It's messy, it's challenging, and you question your sanity. But it's also strangely satisfying." - Unknown


"I love my kids, but I also love bedtime. It's like a daily reset button for my sanity." - Unknown


"I don't always eat leftovers, but when I do, it's because I'm a mom and reheating food is my superpower." - Unknown


"I used to be fun. Now I'm 'Mom.' It's a full-time job, and I don't even get weekends off." - Unknown


"My house isn't messy; it's custom-designed by my kids." - Unknown


"Being a mom means you're the CEO, CFO, COO, and every other 'C' in the company called 'Family.'" - Unknown


Motherhood is a journey filled with love, joy, and plenty of laughter. Through the ups and downs, the messes and the mayhem, we find solace in the hilarious moments that make it all worthwhile. So, fellow moms, let's embrace the hilarity of it all and celebrate the funny, messy, and beautiful adventure that is being a mom.


 

"I used to have a full night's sleep. Now I just have full-time kids." - Unknown


"I'm not bossy; I just have better ideas... that my kids never listen to." - Unknown


"Motherhood: The only job where you can go from feeling like a rockstar to feeling like a complete mess in a matter of minutes." - Unknown


"I've learned that motherhood is a constant battle between wanting to be a Pinterest mom and wanting to be a wine mom." - Unknown


(I say you can be both a Pinterest mom and a wine mom! Check out this super cute How Mom Tells Time mug and wine glass holder.)




"I have so many mom superpowers. I can find a lost toy in record time and detect a lie with a single glance." - Unknown


"Who needs a personal trainer when you have kids? Chasing after them should count as a full-body workout." - Unknown


"Life before kids: 'I can't imagine my house being messy.' Life after kids: 'I can't remember what my house looked like when it was clean.'" - Unknown


"My kids have mastered the art of selective hearing. It's like they have built-in 'mom filters' for when I ask them to do something." - Unknown


"I never knew I could have so many feelings in one day until I became a mom. It's like emotional whiplash, but with extra love." - Unknown


"I used to dream of luxury vacations. Now I dream of uninterrupted showers." - Unknown


Remember, even on the toughest days, a good laugh and a relatable funny mom quote can be just the medicine we need. So, keep those quotes handy, share them with fellow moms, and let the laughter fill your home.


Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with my vacuum cleaner. Until next time, keep laughing and rocking this mom life like the superheroes we are!



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Hi! I'm Jen, and I'm thrilled you stopped by!

I am a certified life coach, mother of five, wife, founder of the non-profit Eye on Vision Foundation, entrepreneur, Christian, and friend. I live, play, work and worship in the Orlando, Florida area.

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